What Is Shadow Work? Understanding the Parts of Yourself You’ve Been Avoiding

Shadow work is the practice of exploring the hidden or rejected parts of yourself—often referred to as the “shadow.” The term comes from psychologist Carl Jung, who described the shadow as the aspects of our personality we push out of conscious awareness because they feel unacceptable, shameful, or unsafe. These parts don’t disappear; they live beneath the surface, influencing our emotions, behaviors, and relationships in powerful ways. Think of a time you had a strong emotional reaction to something and were unsure where the energy or rage came from…that is a shadow. 

At its core, shadow work is about self-honesty. It asks us to look at the traits, feelings, and impulses we’ve learned to suppress—anger, jealousy, neediness, insecurity, selfishness, or even vulnerability and creativity. Many of these traits were labeled “bad” or “too much” early in life, often in response to family dynamics, cultural expectations, or social conditioning. To survive and belong, we hid them from others and even ourselves.

The problem is that what we repress doesn’t stay quiet. The shadow tends to manifest indirectly—through emotional triggers, recurring conflicts, projection onto others, self-sabotage, or patterns we don’t fully comprehend. For example, you might strongly judge arrogance in others while secretly fearing your own confidence, or feel irrational rage when a boundary is crossed because you’ve never felt allowed to express anger directly.

Shadow work isn’t about fixing yourself or becoming morally perfect. It’s about integration. When you bring awareness, compassion, and curiosity to your shadow, you reclaim parts of yourself that were split off for protection. This often leads to greater emotional regulation, healthier boundaries, and a deeper sense of wholeness.

Common shadow work practices include journaling, therapy (especially psychodynamic or Jungian approaches), mindfulness, dream analysis, and reflective questioning. Questions like: What qualities in others trigger me the most? What emotions do I avoid feeling? When do I feel ashamed of my reactions? These inquiries help illuminate where the shadow may be operating.

It’s essential to acknowledge that shadow work can be uncomfortable. Facing parts of yourself that you’ve avoided may bring up feelings of grief, anger, or fear. This is normal—and it’s why shadow work is best approached gently, at your own pace, and sometimes with professional support. Done thoughtfully, it can be deeply liberating rather than overwhelming. By acknowledging your full emotional range—light and dark—you stop fighting yourself. Instead of being controlled by unconscious patterns, you gain choice. You respond rather than react. And you begin to live from a place of authenticity, where nothing essential about you has to be hidden. Shadow work isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about remembering who you’ve always been—whole, complex, and human who lives in accordance with their values.

How Online Psychoanalysis and Parts Work Can Help You Improve Your Life

In an era where speed and surface-level solutions are the norm, many people sense that something deeper is lacking in order to truly address mental health concerns and develop a deeper understanding of themselves. Existential anxiety persists, patterns repeat, and insight gained from quick fixes or immediate coping rarely lasts. Online psychoanalysis, combined with parts work, offers a meaningful alternative—one that helps you understand why you are the way you are and create lasting change, rather than just how to cope in the moment.

Understanding the Roots, Not Just the Symptoms
In therapy, we will focus on uncovering unconscious patterns formed by early relationships, cultural context, and past personal experiences. Rather than asking, “How do I stop feeling this way?” we will ask, “What is this feeling trying to tell me?” In therapy, we will work to address these inner voices with curiosity rather than judgment. We will listen to them, understand their purpose, and respond with compassion to help them overcome the difficulties they are facing.  Instead of feeling fragmented or “pulled in many directions”, you will begin to experience greater internal coherence and self-trust.  This process of self-discovery leads to greater compassion for yourself and others.

Asking these questions leads to the exploration of how past dynamics quietly influence present choices, self-esteem, and current relationships. This insight creates lasting change because it addresses the root of distress, not merely its expression or emotional reaction. 

How do we due this?
The work is based on the idea that the psyche is composed of distinct “parts,” each carrying its own role, emotions, and history. Think of this as having different parts of you. For example, have you ever been in conflict and thought, “I feel five years old right now” or “ I feel small and powerless like a child”? You may have an inner critic that pushes you to perform, a protector that avoids intimacy, or a younger part that holds fear or grief. These parts are not flaws—they developed to help you survive. The problem arises when they remain stuck in outdated roles.

Why Online Therapy Works So Well for Depth Work
Online psychoanalysis is not a watered-down version of in-person therapy. In many cases, it enhances the work. Meeting from your own space can increase emotional safety, making it easier to access vulnerable material. The consistency and accessibility of online sessions support the steady, reflective process that depth work requires.

For many people—especially those balancing demanding schedules or caregiving responsibilities —online therapy removes barriers that once made long-term therapy feel impossible. Depth work thrives when therapy is sustainable and accessible to your schedule.

How This Improves Your Life
Over time, clients often notice profound shifts:

• Being more aware of past relationship patterns  

• Self-criticism evolves into self-understanding, which in turn leads to sustainable change. “When have you successfully bullied yourself into lasting change?”

• Emotional reactions feel less overwhelming and “out of control.”

• Decisions become more aligned with authentic values

• Developing a deeper sense of meaning and wholeness emerges from spending time with “different parts of yourself.”
  
  

Rather than striving to “fix” yourself, we will cultivate a more honest and compassionate relationship with your inner world. 

A Deeper Way Forward
If you are ready to move beyond coping and toward genuine self-understanding, this integrative approach offers a path forward. Change does not come from forcing yourself to be different—it comes from being deeply understood, including by yourself.

Make Room for Growth

Confidence doesn’t always arrive with a bold entrance in the new year. Sometimes, it builds quietly, step by step, as we show up for ourselves day after day. It grows when we choose to try, even when we’re unsure of the outcome, to explore the parts of us we do not like or understand. Every time you take action despite self-doubt, you reinforce the belief that you’re capable of change and deepen the relationship with yourself. Confidence isn’t about having all the answers — it’s about trusting that you can figure it out along the way.

The key to making things happen isn’t waiting for the perfect moment; it’s starting with what you have, where you are.  Whether you’re working toward a personal milestone or a professional dream, progress comes from showing up — not perfectly, but persistently. Action creates clarity, and over time, those steps forward add up to something real.

You don’t need to be fearless to reach your goals around self-discovery; you just need to be willing. Willing to be uncomfortable, willing to sit with part of yourself you will not like or even fear, and willing to believe that you’re capable of sitting and outgrowing self-destructive habits and painful repetitive thinking patterns (because you are). The road may not always be smooth, but growth and lasting change rarely are. What matters most is that you keep going, keep learning, and keep believing in the version of yourself you’re becoming or want to become. I hope that in 2026, I can help you fulfill your goal of exploring who you are and what gives meaning to your life in times of stress.